
Title: Viking
Author: Fabio
Genre: Historical
After the hilarious post about his other book "the Pirate" I went to Amazon to buy my own Fabio book. I will tell you now I'm glad I only paid a penny for this thing! Three hundred pages of raging bitch is not my idea of a good book. (there are 404pages of book) It takes that long for Reyna to stop trying to eviscerate Viktor. Everything he says she has to have the opposite opinion. It took me nearly a week to read this because it didn't become interesting until chapter thirty. Viktor is really a movie actor from our time that was transported, via burning longship, into the past.
On a lighter note here are some humorous quotes from the book.
"And he was aroused--more aroused than he had ever felt in his entire life, as if a log were suddenly lodged in his leggings." (142 of hardcover edition)
A log? Are you kidding me?!
"He winked down at her enraged countenance. 'You're not on the pill, are you, love?' He teased." (143) Ha ha she doesn't understand that idiot.
"'Tis so large!" (233) I nearly peed myself with laughter when she said that.
"'What do I do now?' she asked half frantic. "Darling, you've already done it. Just relax and enjoy your ride.'" (239)
There is a part in the book where Reyna gets horny after watching a fox give birth. It was a little disturbing.
"Naked, Viktor crawled in among eleven squirming dogs, and finally squeezed in next to his wife. He glanced up at Geri, who was panting in his face, while Thor's wagging tail was whacking the crown of his head. Meanwhile, four of the cubs began to leap about and chirp eagerly at his and Reyna's feet, one of them chewing on Viktor's toes through the pelts.
Viktor scowled murderously. 'Reyna, this is ridiculous. I feel like I'm making love to you in a kennel, with eleven dogs serving as voyeurs. This will never work--'
'Twill work,' she said huskily, drawing him closer.
'Come here, my husband, and I will show you how two bodies can share the space of one.'
'Hmm...' he murmured, already thoroughly enjoying the demonstration." (340) Creepy much?
If you feel the need to punish yourself I recommend reading this book.